i really hate mondays

Dear Monday,

I hate you, die.

Lots of Pain,
Mel

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Dear Everyone Who Was In The First Car Of The 2 Train Between Atlantic Ave And Flatbush Ave This Morning,

Look. We've had this talk before, but really. You all need to cut it out. My nose may never actually be the same - my eyes? Are still burning. Pot is one thing. But when you put pot together with dentist numbing jelly, Curve cologne, peppermint candy, sauerkraut, cigarette smoke, oatmeal, and bubblegum...

Be glad I didn't puke on you all when we had a delay at President Street; you are so fucking lucky.

Nauseously,
Mel

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Dear Impromptu Choir,

Where did you come from? Why are you here? I was just minding my own business, eating my pastrami sandwich, and you had to come over and sit down next to me and start praising Jesus. I mean, good on you, way to have a blessed lunch! But, come on. I just. Really? Really?

Sigh,
Mel

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Hi, honey, how's your day been? *facepalm*