bitter_crimson ([identity profile] bitter-crimson.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] unamaga 2008-04-15 12:56 am (UTC)

I thought I'd posted it in my journal somewhere but I couldn't track it down. *frown* So I am copypastaing from the Word document, haha. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

I wrote this for a COLLEGE CREATIVE WRITING CLASS LOLOL.

---

The Day the Canon Fell to the Fanon
                             or
              TPTB vs. the Zombie Fen

Once upon a fandom, far away,
The zombie hordes rose up one day...


The Constant Kingdom of Canon,
Ruled firmly by TPTB,
Sat on the edge of the Meta-land
Overlooking the bright OO Sea.

O the treasures of Canon were legion,
With spoilers and subtext galore.
And bandwagon ships sailed out on the Sea
In search of material more.

Then one day, in wanting for riches,
In greed TPTB declared
Their intent to send out a new ship
Further than any had dared.

Brave Gary Stu and beloved Mary Sue
Were chosen as captains-at-sea,
And set off on ship on their treacherous trip
To the strange land of ZOMG.

After many hard sequels of trav'ling
And of promos and spoilers and gen,
The crew caught a glimpse of their landfall:
The Formidable Forest of Fen.

The Canonical n00bs were quick to befriend
BNF, the big local boss.
She helped them to gather resources and then
Sent them off on their way back across.

The treasures they brought back from ZOMG
Were endlessly varied and new:
AMVs, OTPs, MSTs, C&C,
Some H/C and some UST too.

All was good until TPTB
Decided they weren't satisfied,
And sent their gen'rals back over the sea
To find secrets the Forest might hide.

BNF cried, alarmed, "Don't go deeper!"
But the troops disregarded her pleas
And thus were defenseless when legions of lurkers
Sprang out at them like a disease.

The fierce zombie lurkers attacked them at once
With mpreg and non-con pr0n crack.
In terror, the Canonites tore from the woods,
But the Fanon were right at their back.

Some of the Canon ships managed
To fend off the zombies and flee,
But remaining and falling to lurker control
Were a luckless fleet of OT three.

When TPTB saw ships returning
They opened the docking ports wide,
Not knowing along with their forces,
They were letting the dread Fen inside.

Against Fanon's slash, 'cest and wank-bombs
The Castle of Canon did fall.
TPTB called surrender:
"NSFW, all!"

In the ex-Canon Kingdom's dark ruins
The lurkers were left free to thrive
Awaiting the day when a fresh batch of ships
From another Fandom would arrive.

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