guess it's just that kind of day

[unamaga]

I have a massive headache and some dude at the food store tried to surreptitiously grope me while I was looking at the frozen dinners; I guess it's all I deserve for even thinking of eating that much sodium. Needless to say, I'm feeling kind of shitty! So what do I do but throw together a quick manip of John Sheppard without his shirt on titled "Foxy Gardener John Wants to Mow Your Lawn". Don't judge me.

Comments

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

*rubs your temples*

*offers John some 'lemonade'*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

And by lemonade, you mean steamy hot sex on a lawn chair?

[clear-as-blood.livejournal.com]

Well, shirtless John is therapeutic. Now all you need is Rodney offering him a glass of iced tea or something.

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

Precisely.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, and some really cheesy porn music! Thankfully, I have that on hand.

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Yay for shitty days! I mean, boo.

Also, I want to lick him all over. And I want to read the fic where he has that towel around his neck and Rodney watches helplessly while John pulls it off and rubs his face with it. Yeah.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Nnnngh, yes, and it takes a few tries for the lawn mower to start up, so Rodney has to suffer through John's muscles stretching and bunching each time he yanks the pull cord back. *fans*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Not to mention despite the belt, John's jeans keep slipping down, and Rodney is beginning to suspect the absence of boxers.

[tty63.livejournal.com]

Very nice gardener. I would ask to have him, but I suspect Rodney would not approve.

*hugs and sends anti-headache vibes*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Which is really just not fair. It's hot enough out as it is, John doesn't need to go around flaunting his ridiculous hip bones.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. Rodney is kind of a Johnhog.

*snuggles*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

Things only get worse when Rodney has to show John where the garden hose is (because somehow John is incapable of understanding "around the side of the house") and John uses it not to water the garden but to hose himself down, and the jeans really do not need the extra weight, and Rodney really does not need to see water running down John's torso.


Dammit, I'm supposed to be going to BED. *resolves to do this*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

He should probably go inside, where it's cool and dark and there are no half naked men to distract him from his undoubtedly important work - though he can't quite remember what it is at the moment, train of thought run off the track by the shy dip of John's spine as he stretches his arms above his head and leans back.

*cough*

[aesc.livejournal.com]

John is saying something about it being a million degrees out, rubbing a careless hand through his hair and sending water out in prisming arcs. Rodney makes a noise of agreement, or maybe lust, or maybe agony, he doesn't know which, because he's too busy trying to understand what it is water does to John's body, sharpening the ridges of muscle, count them one-two-three vertebrae up to the twist-turn of tendon as John works out a kink.

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

...and yet I am judging you ;)

(Makes me wish I had a lawn).

[stealmyhorses.livejournal.com]

What is it with guys groping us at the grocery store!? That happened to me once while standing in the check out line, and some guy walked past and copped a feel.

Good thing lawnmower John is here to make up feel better. ;)

[riverdresses.livejournal.com]

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

Based on gardener!John, I judge you to be a goddess.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

[I would just like to make it known that I adore you both. :D!!!!]

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to think of something sensible to say, but the NOMs keep getting in the way.

[unaccompanied-g.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the creep in the store. :(
and GUH. What I wouldn't give to find that in my backyard.

[not-sally.livejournal.com]

I do not judge you. I applaud and thank you. This beats studying by, like a billionty.

[bydaylight.livejournal.com]

*shares the oitment*

[pennyplainknits.livejournal.com]

Hi John! Hi! Makes me want to get a lawn so he can come and mow it.

[vida-boheme.livejournal.com]

Yaay \0/ to hot lawnboy!John and even hotter comments :D (Nghhh!)

I'd like to re-script your negative shopping experience thus:

[Interior: A busy supermarket shopping aisle.]

Unamaga (looking fine) is busily perusing the frozen goods. Sadly, her goods are being perused by the local Creepy Guy who decides to investigate further.

Unamaga: "Hey, buster, if I was loooking for cocktail wiener, I'd be in the next aisle over!"

[Creepy Guy just stares and hold his ground]

Unamaga: "Oh, right,I get it, you're the one in the wrong aisle...you're obviously looking for the cheap goods, sorry unless you're in the market for Punch, there's nothing for you here."

[Unamaga and creepy guy are suddenly startled by the sound of a goose running wild in the supermarket. Looking around, the discover it's actually the truly AWFUL laugh of a truly hot guy who's standing at the next freezer.]

[Hot Freezer Guy is running hand across improbably spiky hair and staring at Creepy Guy with a hard glint underlining the drawl of his voice]

Hot Freezer Guy: "Hey buddy, I think the lady made herself perfectly clear, you're in the wrong place and looking at the wrong goods. Probably better for everyone if you looked elsewhere. Now."

[Hot Freezer Guy stares at Creepy guy until Creepy Guy scuttles off]

Unamaga:[to Hot Freezer Guy] "Thanks for the back up there, I appreciate it."

Hot Freezer Guy: "Oh, you seemed to have it under control - nice lines, by the way - he just needed a little nudge to get moving.(smiling and offering his hand) I'm John Sheppard (they shake hands) and on behalf of man everywhere I'd like to say sorry. No, really! Don't laugh, I'm trying here..."

[he looks sheepishly at her. Sheepish and yet very, very hot.]

John "So, how about I buy you lunch to try and repair the male reputation, or would that make me a creepy guy, too?"

Unamaga: [smiling at his sheepish hotness] "That's very kind of you, and in the spirit of co-operation and respect between the sexes, the very least I can do is say yes."

John: "Cool. So, shall we..." [He gestures off shot]

[Unamaga nods and walks with John. They walk out of shot, talking. The words 'ferris wheel' are the only clear sound in the chatter and laughter]

[noises off]

One old lady to another: "Doris, did you hear that? Call the manager, I think there's an injured animal trapped somewhere in the supermarket!"

THE END.