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FIC: The One With the Couch (PG-13)
Title: The One With the Couch
Pairing: pre-slash Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,212 words
Notes: Friends inspired subtext for the awesome![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
torturemysoul on her birthday! Many thanks to my gorgeous Sofie and the lovely Jules for comments and help.
Pairing: pre-slash Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,212 words
Notes: Friends inspired subtext for the awesome
torturemysoul on her birthday! Many thanks to my gorgeous Sofie and the lovely Jules for comments and help. Jensen moves into a new apartment in February and, typically, it’s a huge production. There isn’t an elevator – Jensen doesn’t know what he was thinking either – and his place is on the third floor.
Well, if nothing else, it makes for some interesting stories, Jensen thinks mildly when he shifts and gets one of Jared’s pointy knees jammed into his side.-
1.
“Jen – Jen, no you gotta –” Jared breaks off with a pained noise when he catches his finger between the edge of the couch and the banister. Jensen tries to peer around the bulk of the monstrosity to see if he’s okay, but there’s a cushion in the way and this is just really not working. He couldn't have hired professionals, oh no.
We can do this, man, no problem! It’ll be a blast. Right.
“Dude, just...put it down for a minute,” Jensen says, and they slowly lower the couch to the stairs. Jared leans his whole weight against it so it doesn’t slip down on top of him, glaring at Jensen now that they can see each other.
“I am gonna kill you,” he growls, looking disturbingly like an angry puppy. “Why can’t you just fucking pivot like you’re supposed to?”
Jensen scowls back. This is so not his fault.
“This is so not my fault! I can’t see where I’m going, and your directions? Aren’t exactly helping. How the hell am I supposed to ‘pivot’ anyway? There’s no room!”
“There’s enough room for you to pivot,” Jared argues, gesticulating wildly at the space behind Jensen’s back. His mouth pinches together, white around the edges. He looks constipated. “Fine. You know what? Switch sides.”
Jensen stares at him for a minute and then starts to laugh. “Are you – are you serious, dude? There isn’t enough room for a paperclip to get by this thing – it’ll go crashing down.”
“No, just. I’ll brace it, and you climb over,” Jared says. He almost sounds reasonable, but Jensen can see the maniac sheen to his eyes when he puts his shoulder to the arm of the couch and gestures for Jensen to come. “Fuckin’ get over here.”
An incredulous minute later, Jensen’s putting his booted, dirty feet on the couch cushions and unsteadily walking down it towards Jared. He’s all set to, y’know, not die, and then the toe of his shoe gets caught in between the cushions and he almost topples over Jared’s shoulders, only managing to catch himself on Jared’s shirt by pure, stupid luck. Jared’s muscles tremble and tense under Jensen’s fingers, straining to keep the couch – and Jensen – where they are. The cotton shirt is damp with sweat.
“Um,” Jensen says breathlessly, because he’s just nearly fallen to his death.-
2.
Jared’s been mumbling curses under his breath for the past fifteen minutes, rapping the thin walls of the boiler room with his knuckles like he’s looking for a hollow to climb through.
“Your shoulders are too big for any vent in the world,” Jensen informs him, “you should probably just give up. I called Mike and he’s on his way, but we’re stuck here for now.”
Jared scowls, but subsides, settling back into his own corner and trying vainly to stretch his legs out in front of him. Problem is, he’s huge and the boiler room is not. His feet wind up against Jensen’s shoulder, knees locked awkwardly to keep them there at the strange angle.
“This sucks,” he observes.
No shit, Jensen wants to say, but he knows Jared can sometimes get a little claustrophobic, and he’s trying to be sensitive.
“Yeah, it does,” he agrees instead, putting a hand on Jared’s calf and rubbing up behind Jared’s knee in what he hopes is a comforting manner. Jared sucks in a sharp breath and slumps back against the wall, both hands falling to his lap, a puppet with its strings cut.
Jensen awards himself three points for being an awesome friend and then has to take them away again when Jared stutters out, “S-stop it, Jen,” and curls his legs up under himself.-
3.
The last box gets shoved on top of the rest of them, and Jensen is so beat he might actually sleep for an entire week. His arms feel like well-cooked noodles.
“I’m hungry,” he says suddenly. “You wanna order in?”
Jared flops backwards on the couch, not even bothering to check if there’s something there first, and almost knocks himself out on the corner of a box. He waves Jensen’s concern away, though, and gives him a thumbs up.
“Pizza? I’ll never put pink eye shadow on you again if you get me pizza,” he promises bleakly, making his eyes go wide and liquid, turning them on Jensen. “Please?”
Jensen orders the pizza and pays the delivery boy when he comes. Two pies later and they’re falling asleep chewing the last bites. Thankfully, Jensen wasn’t stupid enough to try and move the new bed in with Jared, so that’s already set up in his room, pristine sheets and comforter snug around it.
“You wanna crash here, dude? It’s a king,” Jensen offers, yawning wide enough to crack his own jaw. Ouch.
Jared looks sort of uncomfortable, so Jensen very carefully tries not to crack his jaw again with the next yawn. He knows it bugs him when Jared goes off on his knuckles – they sound like fucking gunshots sometimes.
“Yeah, all right,” Jared says eventually. He sounds so reluctant Jensen absently wonders if he’s a closet snuggler or something. Poor Sandy.
They both manage a short shower each – because there is no way Jensen’s letting anything ruin his new bed’s awesomeness, and Jared smells gross when he’s sweaty – and climb into bed. Jared’s tense for a while. His breathing is rough and heavy and it keeps Jensen awake even though all he can think about is sleep.
Figuring maybe Jared’s just unsure, Jensen reaches over and puts his hand on Jared’s bare collarbone. The slightly damp skin shivers under his fingers, goosebumps breaking out visibly down Jared’s arms and across his chest.
“Hey, man, c’mon,” Jensen says, muffled by the way he’s lying against his pillow. “There’s enough blanket for both of us. Even though you’re gigantic.”
Jared lets out a shaky, relieved laugh and turns on his side, shifting closer to Jensen. Their fingers bump together between the pillows, and Jensen has to pull his head out of the crook of his elbow to make sure he’s not encroaching on Jared’s space.
“Did you use my toothbrush?” Jensen asks. He can see Jared’s slow grin even in the murky darkness, smell the mint of toothpaste on Jared’s breath when he laughs. It’s comforting, and Jensen drifts off before he hears Jared’s answer.
There’s a soft glare of sunlight coming through the window when Jensen wakes up again. Jared’s crept closer in his sleep: one knee is jabbing Jensen in the thigh, a hand curled up in front of Jared’s face and near enough to Jensen’s nose that every breath has the tip bumping Jared’s knuckles.
Jensen thinks about how he just knew Jared was a closet snuggler. He’ll probably gloat in the morning. When Jared’s elbow isn’t painfully imbedding itself in his solar plexus.
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HOMG this the the cutest thing ever. Oh oh oh, I love them. Jensen giving himself points for being a good friend and then taking them away again; Jared nearly killing himself on the corner of a box; and sleeping in a bed! And I love you! *tackles*
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you know, jsquared + situational comedy is a HIT. like, you could probably package it and market it and make bazillions.
;lsdss'ds I LOVE THIS.
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also, whee, i'm so glad you liked it, honey!
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the thought of jensen and jared doing the fish dance from flying circus makes me snort soda, omg ow.
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I am pissing myself laughing right now... that is so perfect.
♥
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Bye ;-)
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ps speaking of teh cute, my kitty is lying curled up on a pile of large throw cushions in front of the orange glow from the new electric heater. she is SO ADORABLE.
now she's licking between her legs...
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love the bit b4 they bring the couch and ross is telling the store assistant about him and rach ...
"you kept count??!!?" "you are such a loser ross!" "a loser you did it with 298 times!"
lol *loves*
and yay for j2!!!
*smooshes you* this made my day!!! two fandoms (kinda) in one!!!
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Ahahaha. I freaking LOVE that episode.
This is pure ♥!!!
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PIVOT!
Genius.
Also? “Yeah, it does,” he agrees instead, putting a hand on Jared’s calf and rubbing up behind Jared’s knee in what he hopes is a comforting manner. Jared sucks in a sharp breath and slumps back against the wall, both hands falling to his lap, a puppet with its strings cut.
Jensen awards himself three points for being an awesome friend and then has to take them away again when Jared stutters out, “S-stop it, Jen,” and curls his legs up under himself.
Totally in love with this.
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Jared looks sort of uncomfortable, so Jensen very carefully tries not to crack his jaw again with the next yawn. He knows it bugs him when Jared goes off on his knuckles – they sound like fucking gunshots sometimes.
Oh, oblivious!Jensen, how I love thee! ♥ ♥
*feeds you cookies* yay!!
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That was so damn funny my sides hurt from laughing.
Thanks for sharing.
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this whole thing was awesome, but I just love that line. I love this sort of fic, you don't try too hard, you don't push something that isn't there. it's not grandiose and thats what makes it so good. it's lovely. thanks for sharing.
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*grins* Really.
I mean, I really, really love the porn... but when you guys keep writing these super cute friendship fics... GAH.
Great job. I hope you write a porny sequel... just sayin'
♥
PEE ESS. I'd be super grateful! lol
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This was hysterical
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Very nice pre-slash.
And will there be present-slash?
And post-slash?
Please.
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Great one, hon.
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so freaking good.
:D:D:D