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turtle power
My life: complete. I found this horrible looking movie called Attack of the Monsters in the dollar bin at Walmart, and apparently it's part of this amazing "Gamera" series - Gamera being the EARTH-PROTECTING TURTLE FROM SPACE WHO HAS MAGICAL LASER EYES AND TUSKS AND SOMETIMES PULLS HIS ARMS AND LEGS INTO HIS SHELL IN ORDER TO SHOOT BLUE FLAMES FROM ALL HOLES. You guys. I just. It's so beautiful I think I could cry.
Telescopes could see through trees and buildings back in the day. Nifty.
Ahaha, this is supposedly a cop?
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Gamera heroically comes to their rescue when they "accidentally" trigger the space ship and find themselves in the middle of a meteor shower.
And then, inexplicably, starts to spin in a circle. I'm thinking impotent rage, because who the hell wants to be a turtle from space whose job it is to chase after annoying little children when they get themselves into trouble.
LOL.
I was really upset when this shot wasn't immediately followed by lots of screaming and running in place while the background moved.
The magical pterodactyl monster helped.
Knife dude helped more.
Apparently there's more than one magical pterodactyl, and this one can shoot yellow beams of sunshine from its mouth.
There's a little side plot happening in the middle here where the mothers of the two boys are talking to each other, and I swear they must have broken up recently, because one of them is all, "You should stay for tea! Lots of tea! So much tea omgpleasestayIloveyou," and the other is all awkward and edging away, "Tea! Ha, ha, um, that sounds lovely, yay tea! But I have to wash my hair, yes, it's very greasy today, don't you think?"
Here's the part where the aliens are going to eat the kid's brains to "become higher animals" and "take their knowledge".
EPIC BATTLE. Will Gamera hold out, or will knife dude's massive tool prove too much for him?
Obligatory 'he can't get it up' joke.
But wait! Such is the power of Gamera's love for the children.
9.3, 9.4, 9.7, 8.9...
According to one of the kids, this is Gamera go-go dancing.
Big surprise: Gamera wins, the kids blow up knife dude with a warhead, Gamera repairs the space ship with his mighty heat breath and carries them home to Earth in his mouth. The end! Seriously, best thing that's happened to me all week. I tried to rip the movie so I could inflict it upon you all, but for whatever reason, only the audio would code. I think the dubbing is a separate track from the video or something. I have no idea. All I know is: GAMERA IS A FRIEND TO THE CHILDREN.
ETA: Download both parts, join with hjsplit, and bask in the insanity: Part 1 | Part 2
Telescopes could see through trees and buildings back in the day. Nifty.
Ahaha, this is supposedly a cop?
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Gamera heroically comes to their rescue when they "accidentally" trigger the space ship and find themselves in the middle of a meteor shower.
And then, inexplicably, starts to spin in a circle. I'm thinking impotent rage, because who the hell wants to be a turtle from space whose job it is to chase after annoying little children when they get themselves into trouble.
LOL.
I was really upset when this shot wasn't immediately followed by lots of screaming and running in place while the background moved.
The magical pterodactyl monster helped.
Knife dude helped more.
Apparently there's more than one magical pterodactyl, and this one can shoot yellow beams of sunshine from its mouth.
There's a little side plot happening in the middle here where the mothers of the two boys are talking to each other, and I swear they must have broken up recently, because one of them is all, "You should stay for tea! Lots of tea! So much tea omgpleasestayIloveyou," and the other is all awkward and edging away, "Tea! Ha, ha, um, that sounds lovely, yay tea! But I have to wash my hair, yes, it's very greasy today, don't you think?"
Here's the part where the aliens are going to eat the kid's brains to "become higher animals" and "take their knowledge".
EPIC BATTLE. Will Gamera hold out, or will knife dude's massive tool prove too much for him?
Obligatory 'he can't get it up' joke.
But wait! Such is the power of Gamera's love for the children.
9.3, 9.4, 9.7, 8.9...
According to one of the kids, this is Gamera go-go dancing.
Big surprise: Gamera wins, the kids blow up knife dude with a warhead, Gamera repairs the space ship with his mighty heat breath and carries them home to Earth in his mouth. The end! Seriously, best thing that's happened to me all week. I tried to rip the movie so I could inflict it upon you all, but for whatever reason, only the audio would code. I think the dubbing is a separate track from the video or something. I have no idea. All I know is: GAMERA IS A FRIEND TO THE CHILDREN.
ETA: Download both parts, join with hjsplit, and bask in the insanity: Part 1 | Part 2