n00bs: i'm not usually like this.

[unamaga]

A List Of Things I Really Really Can't Stand Ever, Oh My God

• Someone being loud and/or obnoxious while I'm trying to listen to smooth jazz music or John Mayer. It just doesn't gel, dude, you really ought to stop before I rip out your throat.



• People who pry until they can twist your words into what they want to hear and then spread whatever you've told them all over the place. My sister does this, my mother does this--hell, every single woman in my immediate family does this--and I want to do painful things to them involving metal rakes and rusted stabbity knives.



• Breathing too loud. No, shut up, I mean it. It's not that difficult to breathe like a normal person, and just because you have food in your mouth does not mean you are allowed to breathe through your mouth and nose loud enough that I can hear you two rooms over.



• The same goes for chewing, bitch. Close your fucking mouth or I'll close it for you. And stop clanging your stupid, stupid spoon against the side of your dish like you can't control the force you put it down with, because you really can.



• When people drive like they walk down the supermarket aisles, all slow and cautious because they're not sure if they want to stop for that red sauce or not. The fuck? Speed up or get off the roads, you old wrinkly bastard.



• Pushy. Salespeople. Back the hell off and let me actually look at the merchandise I am there to look at otherwise you won't be getting my business, no matter how cheap your prices are. I don't need you shoving all of these ridiculous things in my face and telling me they're a better value. I think I can maybe judge for myself, thank you.



• Being condescended to, especially when the someone condescending obviously doesn't know what they're talking about. I took level 352 Genetics in my freshman year of college and I have some major science textbooks in my room that I can throw at you if you want to really get into an argument with me about fucking evolution and DNA.



• Same goes for music--I'm not a pushover, and just because your boyfriend plays the guitar does not mean you have the automatic right to diss any type of music that I listen to and declare me inferior. I can still mess you up by cracking that little guitar stand over your head.



• Hypocrites, like, a lot. Telling me one thing and then doing another in the same minute does not endear you to me. In fact, it kind of makes me want to punch you in the teeth. Changing your mind is one thing, but being a blatant, ignorant fool is something different entirely.



• NO MORE FUCKING WIRE HANGERS OR I WILL CUT A BITCH.

the end

Comments

[dullemarulle.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, cranky much, Mel? *kicks all the stupid people for you*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I am cranky. *pouts atchu*

[dullemarulle.livejournal.com]

*kisses it better*
'tis the season to be jolly, remember?

[immoralilly.livejournal.com]

I love you, cranky baby.

♥

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, braintwin-o-my-heart.

[hebrew-hernia.livejournal.com]

Can I friend you? You're pretty awesome. Not just because of this, I mean, but because you uploaded *whole CDs* and you really love the J2 (or at least, that's the impression I've gotten... :-P) and you seem like you would inject some fun into my flist (not that it's not already fun, but you would make it more fun!).

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

D'aww, thank you! Of course you can friend me - I'll friend you right back. *smooches*

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, I love you! Here, have some bdly-written moderately!bondage!Sammy:

has anyone ever tied sam up?


Sam tells himself he's blocked the guy's name out of his brain because of how horrible that town was because he doesn't want to deal with the thoughts that come with realizing he can't even remember which guy it was he let tie him up and have his way with him.

He doesn't remember the guy's name but he's positive it was in Nevada (Maybe Colorado). The guy was out of high school. Sam thinks maybe he went to the local college. Either way he remembers that he was one of those popular guys the whole town loved and Sam just wanted so bad for the guy to like him (Plus he was fucking HOT).

He let the guy tie him up, wrists to ankles behind his back at first, and then do whatever the hell he wanted.

He fucked Sam's mouth first, then fucked his ass. Rubbed himself against Sam's stomach, fucked Sam so hard with a vibrator that the thing stopped... vibrating. Just stopped suddenly as if it had no more to give.

Then the guy untied him, retied him spread-eagle to the bed (The ropes stretching him flat and meeting under the matress since there were no bedposts) and then he REALLY started to get going.

After all was said and done Sam was so exhausted and worn out that he fell asleep in front of the Circle K waiting for Dean to pick him up.

Lucky for him he told Dean and Dad he was going to play basketball (Which explained the tiredness).

Unlucky for him Dean knew what the fuck rope-burn looked like.

Sam still thinks that was one of the most awkward fights in the history of EVER.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

HI, THIS IS HOT. *whimpers* It's the vibrator thing that did me in, because I have a serious kink. Nnngh, you just made my day a little shinier. *BIG SMOOCH* ♥

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

You have a thing for toys? See now I'm gonna have to do things with that. Like tell you about the time Jess fucked Sam with a strap-on (While having a bout of insecurity because she knew Sam swung both ways happily) or all those toys Dean's had shipped to his various P.O. Boxes over the years.

Or about how Dean loves Sam's hands so much that he spends entire hours just sucking on his fingers and leaving hickies all over his wrists.

I'm SO HAPPY I helped your day! *BIG SMOOCH BACK* ♥

[talilov.livejournal.com]

PMS much? Lmao. I think this is more a case of, ‘one thing is pissing me off, so EVERYTHING is pissing me off’. I know how you think, because that’s how I operate, too :p.

pee/ess: I bet you can forgive these social faux pas when it is Dean and Sam, right?

[talilov.livejournal.com]

One:

Sam flinched as the door swung violently on its hinges to reveal Dean lounging gracefully in the doorway.

“Hey Sammy.” Dean bellowed over the smooth sounds of John Mayer serenading from Sam’s stereo. “What are you up to?”

If it wasn’t half obvious that Sam was trying to study, text books laying open to various highlighted pages, his laptop out, study notes spread over the desk and jazz playing on the stereo because that promotes intelligent thought, or maybe that’s Mozart? Whatever. The point is, it was obvious Sam was trying to study.

He didn’t bother dignifying Dean with a reply, merely raising an eyebrow and scrunching his brow in annoyance.

“You’d never believe the chick I hooked up with last night,” Dean continued. “Ass like no other.”

Sam’s hands curled tensely into fists at his sides. This was so frustrating. Dean did this every single time. Loud and obnoxious. It was enough to make Sam want to rip his throat out to shut him the hell up.

“And the things she could do with that mouth.” Dean reminisced, unaware of Sam’s thoughts.

“Dude!” He exclaimed suddenly. “What in the hell kind of lady music are you listening to? This stuff is only permissible when you are trying to get laid. What are you, 16?”

That did it, Sam lunged from his chair and pinned Dean forcefully against the wall, using his significant weight advantage to pin Dean’s wrists above his head.

“Is it working?” He hissed voice dark and low in his throat. “Is this music going to get me laid?”

Dean smirked and opened his mouth, but before he could spout anymore meaningless prattle, Sam sealed his mouth with a kiss, swallowing down Dean’s words.

He then proceeded to fuck him hard over the top of his desk until his text books slid off to the floor, along with his notes and his fluro-pink highlighters.

[talilov.livejournal.com]

Two

Dean had always had problems in controlling his frustrations. He dated this psych major once, who seemed to believe that he kept too much of what he was feeling locked up inside, and just like a serial killer, one day he would snap and chaos would ensue. Suffice to say, he fucked her and dumped her because that psychology bullshit was for girls and people like Sam and not Dean Winchester. Not ever.

But maybe she had a point, because not long after Dean dated this chick who was a dental nurse, and after exploring Dean’s mouth with her tongue, she chuckled and said, “You grind your teeth. I can tell by the way they feel against my tongue. You better get that looked at, or you’ll be toothless by the time you’re thirty.”

Dean smirked, asked her if she was sure about that, maybe she should check again. And again. When they were saying their goodbyes, she gave him a card and told him to come and see her sometime. Dean was nodding his head in agreement because he'd never been fucked in a dentists chair, but then “We have some great whitening techniques to clean those coffee stains from your teeth.”

Dean gave her a fake name and promised to book an appointment, but hours of close scrutiny in the mirror proved to him that his smile was blindingly white, and what did that bitch know anyhow? Dean found a lot of strange satisfaction in dumping her business card into the kettle just before he boiled it and he could have sworn that his coffee had never tasted so good.

Cut to today, and Dean is sitting in a diner grinding his teeth and popping his jaw painfully because god damn Sam chewed loudly, all hunched over his plate using his spoon like it was a shovel. It was reminiscent of the time they’d stumbled upon a pack of werewolves feeding on a human body, all slobber and crackle and tear as the flesh was ripped from the bodies, the blood slurped up and the bones devoured.

Dean would have said something, but he doubted Sam would be able to hear him over the noise emanating from his big fat mouth.

You’d think after all these years Dean would be used to it, but then Sam is lifting his head to met Dean’s gaze and chewing with his mouth open now and he is not trying to actually talk to Dean while he has a face stuffed with food, is he?

It’s like a car accident and Dean can’t seem to tear his eyes away.

“And Sam wonders why he’s still a virgin.” Dean shudders. He wouldn’t want Sam taking him out to dinner, either.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

“Is it working?” He hissed voice dark and low in his throat.

HOLY CRAP YES IT IS COME HERE SAMMY. That is...seriously sexy, homg. And, ahahaha, Sammy listens to John Mayer.

ps, i love you.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I love you SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, omg. *wibbles and gets her hormones all over the place* Now I go off to review ALL OF THESE LIKE WOAH because they're LOVELY!!! ♥♥♥!!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/__3amconfession/]

*pets* I'm a little scared of this Mel, but you do make some very, very good points. I read them all very carefully and I can say that I am not one of those people. It may be different while I'm sleeping or drunk, but I really can't control that =3

The third last one reminds me of girl in my school (as does the second last one) - she doesn't necessarily have a boyfriend who plays guitar, but she sings herself. It's kind of scary because it looks like she's ready to smash the guitar on the stage and she really isn't "hardcore". But the reference to calling other peoples music "inferior" is what pisses me off about her. She listens to "underground" like Rise Against (sorry, but EVERYONE knows who they are) and Something Corporate (also a big band) and she says anyone who listens to mainstream has no taste in music. An old friend and I had a big discussion about this (we both enjoy the same types of music) and saying, yeah, people don't have the same tastes as us and I listen to bands people have never heard of (it's scary to see people give you a dead stare when you start talking about Boys Night Out or The Libertines) but it doesn't give you the right to say I have no taste in music. I don't say it about people who listen to bubblegum punk - I don't LIKE it, but people do and they're famous, so they must be good. Somehow.

And hyporcritcal - Jesus H., don't get me started on that. Same girl as above and she promotes not being mean to people or cutting them down and the same exact second, she's talking about you behind your back. But that's pretty much how it is with EVERY SINGLE GIRL in our school. It's really, really, really bad. Like fucking supermodels or something - the backstabbing is AMAZING. Even from people you consider your best friends. It makes me sick.

You know what annoys me? When people start talking during my favorite shows to ask questions - especially if it's a new episode. PISS ME OFF. Especially by dad who is just doing it to make me mad so he can laugh. ASK DURING THE COMMERCIALS.

Another thing that annoys me: those five year old girls who look like a cotton candy stand exploded on them and they walk around, giving you puppy dog eyes (and not even the good ones like Sam's) to get WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT BECAUSE THEY'RE PARENTS SPOIL THEM. GARHjkahfkjhasf.

Also, people who think that if a gay person touches you, talks to you or even asks directions, they want to sex you all over the place and give you AIDs and syphillus and corrupt your children. Stupid, blinded, ignorant people like that who say, "I will not let my child hang out with a gay child because they might corrupt them and turn them to their devilish ways!" make me want to shoot them in the face with rocksalt. Repeatedly. You're straight - every time you talk to the opposite sex, do you want to fuck them? NO, I DIDN'T THINK SO. Just because we're GAY doesn't mean we are horny little rabbits - Jensen and Jared are the only exception.

I'll shut up now.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I am sorry that I am skerry. *tries not to be* I agree with pretty much every single word you said here, though. ESPECIALLY the spoiled children, but I think we've had this conversation before, in detail.

*hugs you*

[scarlett-o.livejournal.com]

So you're having a fun Thanksgiving then?

Pushy. Salespeople. Yes. Went in to Bath & Body Works yesterday and not only is it wall-to-wall people, but the sales chicks won't leave us alone. Believe me I can read the signs you have plastered on every available space and I know what I'm there to buy.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. This is definitely the most fun I've ever had at a family holiday. OH YES. *sporks self*

I hate going in to Bath & Body Works! They're so smelly and they always try to push the most expensive gift baskets off on you. Rar.

[castiel.livejournal.com]

Dude. I totally hear you on ALL of those points. Especially the condescending thing. Oh my God, does that ever make me want to cut a bitch. Just. AUGHLKSDJFKSLDCSDEWLKSJDF >[

*pets*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

YES. CUT THE BITCHES. ALL OF THEM. *coughs*

♥

[broken-bees.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on people who twist your words and breathe too loud my mum's boyfriend dose that. I really really want to tell him to learn to breathe like every other person in the world but I keep my mouth shut or mum might deck me.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's seriously one of the worst things ever. Like I said to talilov up there, when I was five I accused my sister of doing it on purpose and hit her really, really hard with a spoon.

...I was a lovely child.

[plutogirl10.livejournal.com]

i agree with pretty much all of these things, but my biggest gripe? Hypocrites. Can't fucking stand them. Either they're really stupid and don't see what they're doing, or they're trying to be clever about what it is they're doing, but either way, I can't stand them.

One of my biggest things I hate is stupidity. And I don't mean not knowing about the facts of something, or not understanding something, because no one can know/understand everything about everything. What I mean is a narrow-mindedness stupidity, like people with blinkers on who refuse to learn about things before they go trash-talking about things they dont' want to understand about, things they judge without having the right to. yeah, okay, I'll shut up now.

*runs away*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I completely, completely concur. Stupidity - meaning ignorance - just leaves me with absolutely no respect for the person. Honestly, it's one thing to say, "Um, I'm not sure about what the Democrats stand for," and admit that you need to learn, but it's quite another to say, "George Bush is the best ever, he's really trying to help the working class," and then get pissy when people tell you, "Er, no, actually he's not. Look at all these rich-people tax cuts!" WAKE UP.

...*cough* I hadn't actually meant for that to turn into a political thing. Really.