Extremely Regrettable Brownies

[unamaga]

So, unsurprisingly, I can't be left to my own devices for more than a day at a time, otherwise I will create strange brownie creatures that resemble boiling poop more than chocolate cake yummies. APPARENTLY forgetting the eggs, not realizing your error, and then trying to make cookies with the oddly fudgy batter only leads to terror and loud shrieks of "OH MY GOD IT'S MERGING! DON'T - OH GOD, NO, STAY ON THE - OH GOD!" Thank the lord I used the cookie sheet with a lip and had Anne to flail at on AIM.


Stage 2: Poo-and-Lace Doilies.

A video of Stage 3: The Spread, for posterity. Because it really did look like it was gonna eat my face for a few minutes there. After this portion we moved into Stage 4: Poppin' Bubbles, and Stage 5: Maybe I Want To Overflow. The later required many near-burns on my part while I attempted to carefully hold the parchment paper on an angle so the "brownies" wouldn't overrun their papery bounds.

Eventually, it evened out into one large sheet of burnt fugliness. I tried to eat a bit once I'd taken it out, but it tasted extraordinarily like burnt fugliness, so I gave up and threw the entire thing out. I think that's for the best, really.

Comments

[bluesheart.livejournal.com]

That seems like something I would do.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

*high five!* We can be cooking failures together! <3

[bluesheart.livejournal.com]

Yeah and our families would be so proud. I once made cookies and I forgot add butter and I didn't realize it and my boyfriend ate one. He was good sport about it :)

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Keep a hold on that one, miss!

[22by7.livejournal.com]

that kinda looks like something out of a volcano. NOW I WANT BROWNIES. great. :p

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I would offer you some, BUT WELL.

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

OH MEL.

*pets you*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

\o/ I AM A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

*LOVES YOU FOR IT*

I know the feeling, love. :D

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

*LOVES YOU BACK LIEK WOAH*

*attaches self to your leg*

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

*feeds you cookies*

[arabella-hope.livejournal.com]

NOMNOMNOMNOM.

Why yes, I am cackling cheerfully at you. WITH ALL THE LOVE THAT COMES WITH BAKED GOODS.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I can almost hear you, if I concentrate - your mockery is VERY DISTINCT, I believe, VERY.

[arabella-hope.livejournal.com]

<333

It's actually quite facinating, lol.

[castiel.livejournal.com]

I fail at cooking, too. :[

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

We should make a club and call it "Failure-face Cookers Unite!" *pet*

[annella.livejournal.com]

OH MAN. I feel so much better about my cooking attempts now. ;D

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

*bows* I live to serve, miss.

[polyspaston.livejournal.com]

Ahh, bless ya! That kind of looks appetising to me. I love burnt stuff. Comes of growing up with my mum's cooking. ;0) That really reminds me of our failed attempts at cooking at uni. We came up with Cookie Crumbs, because the cookies all stuck to the tin and had to be chiselled off. But the crumbs were nice. And, that old favourite, Salmonella Meringues. You could SMELL the salmonella, I swear ;0)

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Hahahah! I'm afraid the end product sort of...oozed after a bit longer of cooling off. And then the ooze solidified. I'm not sure it was safe for human consumption. I feel kind of queezy, unsurprisingly.

[peccare.livejournal.com]

.... THEY'RE ALIIIIVE

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

AND THEY'RE COMING FOR YOUUUUU!

[morgaine22.livejournal.com]

Why didn't they listen when you demanded they not spread? They NEVER listen!!

...did you taste it at all or were you afraid for your life? Mighta tasted okay. Unless, wait, no; you said there was burning, didn't you? Oh, sugar. It's in a better place now...

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I did taste them! And, uh, they tasted pretty freaking horrendous. I had to hack away at the sheet with a knife before it would break up so I could throw it out.

*clings*

[schneestern.livejournal.com]

Alright I came online to take a break from the McShep awesomeness trying to explode my heart with love. You have finished what they started!

I just...I want to hug you and hold you forever. You are so adorable, because I mean YOU TOOK A VIDEO! Oh boy. I'll bake you muffins if we ever meet. Promise!

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!!! Remember how I was trying again tonight with the left over batter? IT WAS ALMOST A BROWNIE THIS TIME. \o/

[schneestern.livejournal.com]

CLEARLY a win.

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

*laughs at you* *WITH LOVE*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

*scowls at you* *WITH LOVE* <3

[immoralilly.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO.

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ASK.

[darksybarite.livejournal.com]

YAY FOR BAKING DISASTERS!!

I was making cookies from scratch one night, and got so distracted by the tv that I forgot to add FLOUR. I subsequently discovered a process I've dubbed "soupination".

*ignores the charred remains STILL on the bottom of her oven*

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

OH, I've done that before! It's grand, isn't it? Especially the lovely, appetizing odor that comes along with. Mm.

[talilov.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahahha, so NYE? I'll handle the cooking munchkin =D