unamaga: (i have a brilliant idea)
unamaga ([personal profile] unamaga) wrote2008-01-14 10:14 pm
Entry tags:

FIC: Spiral (R)

Title: Spiral
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Summary: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21...
Wordcount: ~600 words
Notes: This was supposed to be for the porn battle hosted by [livejournal.com profile] oxoniensis, but what was originally the "sand" prompt sort of...stopped being porn and started being something else entirely. Big hearts to [livejournal.com profile] kashmir1 for reassuring me that it didn't suck and telling me to just post it already.


The first time, Rodney says, "I don't understand," and John says, "Please," and the bed is too far away - the wall is closer, just as flat.

The first time, John gets a hand between them, fingers clever and fast, and Rodney comes with his eyes closed and his fists wound in the fabric of his own shirt.

The second time, Rodney says, "What are you -" and John says, "Shut the fuck up," and the inside of John's mouth is gritty like beach air, and stale like old fear. Rodney's not allowed to move, pinned to the mattress by John's weight and the fierce, frightened look in his eyes when Rodney reaches up to touch his hair. They lose a pillow and the bedside lamp to the floor with a shattering crash when John comes against Rodney's hip, and Rodney thinks that's - it makes sense.

The third time, Rodney says, "No," and John says, "I - Rodney," and his stricken face is too much. They wobble over to the bed on unsteady legs; Rodney's lips are bruised and bitten-red before the backs of his knees hit the bed frame, and when John looms over him on all fours, eyes bled of color and as dark as night, Rodney reaches up and touches.

The fifth time, Rodney says, "You're hurt," and John says, "It's nothing." Rodney's careful with him anyway: cradles John's hips between his thighs, forces them both into a gentleness he's not sure either of them feel. When he comes, John makes a small, pained sound, and Rodney holds on and on until he can feel the slow, steady stirring of air where John's mouth is pressed to his cheek.

The eighth time, Rodney's barely awake and John says, "Let me," and it's slow and strange and Rodney can't breathe past the sudden, tight panic in his chest. John falls asleep once Rodney's come, his cheek resting on Rodney's hip, the covers a balled mess at the foot of the bed, and the knot in Rodney's gut unfurls all at once into something beautiful, something terrifying.

The thirteenth time, Rodney says, "Do it," and John says, "Oh god," and the snick of the lube cap is barely audible over the rushing of blood in Rodney's ears. He's got bruises on his wrists and ankles, an abraded strip of skin that forms a circle all the way around his neck, and the slick feel of John sliding two fingers into him is so good he can't remember why any of it should bother him. Fingers are replaced with a hard, thick cock that reaches deep, deep, makes Rodney moan and shiver and come like he never has before.

The twenty first time, Rodney says, "I know," and John - John doesn't say anything at all, staring resolutely at the floor until Rodney gets a knuckle under John's chin and forces him to look up, forces John to look at him with those scared green eyes.

"I know," Rodney says again when he's got his mouth on John's neck, and, "Me too."

John under him is a revelation - imperfect, gorgeous, surface as untouched as the desert. It’s too much to take in at once; he breaks John down into small, manageable pieces, marking each of them with soft kisses so he'll know what goes where later when he puts John back together, and John gives it up like he’s been waiting for a reason, soft noises falling from his lips that almost sound like equations.

Rodney says, “Come on,” and John says, “Yes.”
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[identity profile] kashmir1.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
GORGEOUS.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
<333
ext_1720: two kittens with a heart between them (Default)

[identity profile] ladycat777.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, love. I love your crazy, fucked up, broken John and the Rodney who, just as broken, puts them back together again.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
poor, shattered boys. :c
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[identity profile] bironic.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Just gorgeous -- the structure, the title, the prompt interpretation, the repetition of certain words, the desperation and beauty, and oh yes, the utter screwed-up perfection of John and Rodney coming together.

*happy, happy sigh*

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
oh, thank you. i'm glad you liked! <3

[identity profile] sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
John under him is a revelation - imperfect, gorgeous, surface as untouched as the desert. It’s too much to take in at once; he breaks John down into small, manageable pieces, marking each of them with soft kisses so he'll know what goes where later when he puts John back together, and John gives it up like he’s been waiting for a reason, soft noises falling from his lips that almost sound like equations. - is so perfect that it literally brought tears to my eyes. Oh.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
*pink* aw, thank you so much!

[identity profile] allyndra.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
he breaks John down into small, manageable pieces, marking each of them with soft kisses so he'll know what goes where later when he puts John back together

That is ... that is stunning. I keep re-reading it and basking in the sheer awesomeness. The whole thing is full of awkwardness, pain, heat, and growing love and connection. It fits them so very well.

Thanks for sharing!

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
fja;ogm *pinks* thank you so much!
grammarwoman: (Default)

[personal profile] grammarwoman 2008-01-15 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
Powerful and beautiful. *awed*

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
:"> thank you!

[identity profile] lenkti.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
This is so very, very good.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
aww, thank you!
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[identity profile] causeways.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
God, I love this and them and YOU. <3

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
d'awww! <333
smangosbubbles: Text: "She was silent/ a new little girl/ eye opened/ hands clasping/ And / she would not be defeated." (Default)

[personal profile] smangosbubbles 2008-01-15 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
*HAPPY NOISE* *like a cat*

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
*skritches behind your ears*

(no subject)

[personal profile] smangosbubbles - 2008-01-16 03:12 (UTC) - Expand
ext_4055: (Default)

[identity profile] chandri.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
I read this once without reading the summary, and it was lovely. Then I saw the summary and read it again, and my brain went: "math sex!" and suddenly it was fifteen times as awesome. ^.^

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
hahaha! math sex is the best sex. *nod*

[identity profile] tardis80.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
I really like this. \o/

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
yay! thank you. :>

[identity profile] helenkacan.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm more than relieved that you missed the porn post (not that there's anything wrong with porn!!!) but this was amazing and enchanted and perfect in so few words! And, um, intelligent summary!!!

Stunned hugs,
H.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-16 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
hee, i'm glad you enjoyed it, sweetie! :>
aurora: (Default)

[personal profile] aurora 2008-01-15 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
SO MUCH LOVE!!

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*beams!*

[identity profile] countess7.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
:::flails:::

oh!

they're just so-

and you're just so-

:::flails:::

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*blush* aww, thank you so much!

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] gaffsie.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
and John gives it up like he’s been waiting for a reason, soft noises falling from his lips that almost sound like equations. *flails* That's beautiful.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you! <3

[identity profile] lavvyan.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 08:34 am (UTC)(link)
This is awesome. Not only the story, but the way you tell it. Spiral indeed. ♥

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
fj;aogmaf, thank you so much!!

[identity profile] the-cephalopod.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 08:42 am (UTC)(link)
Heart-achingly beautiful. Thank you. cep xxx

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you! :)

[identity profile] dodificus.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
I enjoyed this, I'm too brain dead at the moment to think of anything more brilliant to say about it:)

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
hee! well, i'm glad you enjoyed it!

[identity profile] faith-girl222.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
pining john = my favorite forever. john pining while already fucking rodney = i cannot describe how much i love it.
"I know," Rodney says again when he's got his mouth on John's neck, and, "Me too."
the way in which that feels canonical is why i have trouble buying them just saying it (especially john. if you gave rodney a video camera and the threat of total annihilation, i'm sure he would get there eventually).

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
you know, after the three hour spiel on LEADERSHIP. <333

[identity profile] shao-fu.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:10 am (UTC)(link)
I loved this - the boyz so confused and broken. And

he breaks John down into small, manageable pieces, marking each of them with soft kisses so he'll know what goes where later when he puts John back together

is the most magical line - so much in so few words and so poetic. Brilliant!

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
eee, thank you! i'm so glad you enjoyed it!
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[identity profile] nomelon.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Oh, gorgeous. This worked so well with the title. Really beautiful.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you, sweet. :>

[identity profile] hebrew-hernia.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 01:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Um, I think I'm kind of going to have an inappropriate reaction to the Fibonacci sequence from now on. THANKS A LOT MEL. This was obviously all hot and moody and intense and beautiful beautiful beautiful and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
YOU ARE COMPLETELY WELCOME. just imagine how fun math class'll be from now on.

[identity profile] sihayab.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Good grief! How did you DO that? How did you create something so spare and perfect, something that smashes my heart and makes me gasp?

::doffs cap::

::bows low::

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
fajg;wjmfawgj;i *hands on cheeks* oh, thank you!

[identity profile] melagan.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Loved them all but I confess I had to go back and reread the 5th time three times

*happy sigh*

[identity profile] unamaga.livejournal.com 2008-01-15 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
aww, thank you! *smish*

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