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GUYS. YOU GUYS. GUESS WHAT.
In exactly 365 days, George W Bush will be out of the White House forever. In honor of this momentous occasion (no more Dick Cheney! no more edumacation! no more socially unacceptable shoulder massages!), let us look back on the last few years and remember some of the good times that we've shared.
Watch this space for entirely self-indulgent fic in which John Sheppard is President of the United States of America. No, I'm not joking.
Yes, but what are your thoughts on yaoi?
"I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be -- hold hands." --George W. Bush, on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008
"I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it." --George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007
"The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope -- an ideology of hate -- excuse me --with an ideology of hope." --George W. Bush, Fort Benning, Ga., Jan. 11, 2007
"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000
"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.
"And my concern, David, is several." --George W. Bush, to NBC's David Gregory, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007
"Wow! Brazil is big." --George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005
"I like the idea of people running for office. There's a positive effect when you run for office. Maybe some will run for office and say, vote for me, I look forward to blowing up America. I don't know, I don't know if that will be their platform or not. But it's -- I don't think so. I think people who generally run for office say, vote for me, I'm looking forward to fixing your potholes, or making sure you got bread on the table." --George W. Bush, on elections in the Middle East, Washington, D.C., March 16, 2005
"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money." —George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002
Stephen Colbert roasting President Bush
[Transcript]
Watch this space for entirely self-indulgent fic in which John Sheppard is President of the United States of America. No, I'm not joking.
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Words cannot express the extent to which I fervently hope that you're not joking.
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aneros2065 (1:34:26 PM): gooodddddd and carson's completely oblivious, keeps giving rodney little worried looks, "i don't know why he's been ridin' ye so hard lately, lad, you're always about to fall right over when you come outta there."
schneestern (1:35:39 PM): AHAHAHAAHHA I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW
schneestern (1:35:42 PM): oh carson
aneros2065 (1:36:22 PM): and rodney just coughs a little sharply and says, "no, it's my job, isn't it? have to, er, keep the ball rolling, as it were. better get in there and see what he wants this time."
schneestern (1:37:08 PM): HAHAHAH
schneestern (1:37:09 PM): BALL
schneestern (1:37:18 PM): GOD
schneestern (1:37:20 PM): and MEL
schneestern (1:38:12 PM): president john is TOTALLY intense. he seems to take up more room than he actually does but when rodney's through with kissing him his lips are bruised and his hair is all over the place and his tie is undone and he's still the president but he's also rodney's
aneros2065 (1:38:24 PM): fjAWGIPWAGUPWRAIJRmkawFJIAWFPAG
schneestern (1:43:44 PM): PRESIDENT JOHN FUCKING RODNEY BENT OVER THE DESK AT THE OVAL OFFICE WHILE THE SUN STREAMS IN THROUGH THE HUGE WINDOWS
schneestern (1:43:48 PM): *ded*
aneros2065 (1:48:11 PM): you're forgetting how late they work, jules. they work until nearly midnight on an early day, and most of the staff goes home by eleven, chased off by spouses or the sheer bloodymindedness of carson's motherhenning. they've got the place to themselves as long as ronon keeps close by, and they've fucked everywhere. rodney likes taking john apart in the press room, the illicit thrill of watching john's mouth slacken and his eyes go hooded like they only ever do when rodney's sucking him, in this room, in this place where any other time of day they'd be having sex in front of the international press
schneestern (1:48:53 PM): UKZTSFRZKUFTGUKRZFGRIUZG
schneestern (1:49:02 PM): AJHJDIEGAKFAUZRGF
schneestern (1:49:07 PM): ...
aneros2065 (1:49:51 PM): wiiin
aneros2065 (1:51:19 PM): god, just
aneros2065 (1:52:19 PM): imagine john bent backwards over that podium, shirt rucked up from rodney's fingers and exposing his belly, eyes closed, rodney himself on his knees with john's cock on his tongue
aneros2065 (1:59:20 PM): goddddd rodney has to wear a tie and casual suit in the white house at all times
schneestern (2:00:31 PM): OMG
schneestern (2:00:39 PM): just when i thought it could not possibly be hotter
aneros2065 (2:00:47 PM): john dragging him through the oval office door by the tie
schneestern (2:01:57 PM): with that private little smirk on his face that's just for rodney to see
aneros2065 (2:03:08 PM): ohhh yes, the one that's a little wicked and sharp-toothed, that always reminds rodney of that one time john took him against the wall, one hand wrapped over rodney's mouth to keep him from shouting and letting all the staff gathered in the room just next door hear.
schneestern (2:04:30 PM): JESUS FUCK
schneestern (2:04:32 PM): MEL
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How is this fandom so awesome?
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I'll be over in my bunk, thanks.
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“Chief of Staff McKay to the President’s Office. Rodney McKay to my office,” came over the intercom.
Rodney snarled and shoved away from his computer. This was not the time to be interrupting him and John very well knew it. How the man kept the nation running he had no idea. Oh, wait, yes he did. Rodney kept it running.
Rodney marched into the President’s office, slamming the door open.
“What is it this time, sir.?”
“Shut the door.”
“You do realize that I’m right next door. There’s no need to use that stupid intercom you insisted you must have. And you know I’m working on the treaty you ke—“
“Rodney. Shut the door.” Rodney stopped talking at the command and finally took a good look at John. Who was leaning against the front of his desk, tie loosened, jacket off, hair crazier than usual. And his eyes were molten.
Rodney’s breath lodged in his throat and he quickly shut the door.
“Come here.” A finger beckoned. Rodney made his way to John, loosening his tie as he went. No matter how many times they did this, no matter the location, Rodney never tired of it.
With a final leap, Rodney crashed his lips onto John’s with a slight click of teeth, both men already hungry. Hands leapt to reach skin, scrabbling on button and buckles. Rodney bit back a moan as John latched onto the juncture of his neck. He trembled as hands swept across skin to knead his ass. And was startled from his euphoria when John flipped him around to bend him over the desk. THE desk.
“John!” Rodney squawked. “W-wait, we can’t do this over this desk! This is the desk! Think of the number of great men who’ve sat here, who’ve—” Rodney broke off with a groan. John was grinding his hips into Rodney’s, erection sliding along Rodney’s crease with Rodney’s own erection trapped against the desk. He tried to restart his train of thought. “T-the paper work...” and with a wail gave up all resistance as John wrapped a warm, calloused hand around him.
“I’m going to fuck you hard into the desk, Rodney. So hard you won’t sit for a week,” John rasped in his ear. Rodney whimpered, head braced on his arms, legs spread. He could feel the brush of cloth oh his bare skin where John laid, arousing him beyond belief to know John still wore clothing while he did not.
He cried out as John shoved in with no preparation and immediately started pumping his hips. Thankfully Rodney was still a little loose from their morning activities. But the pain only spiked the pleasure.
Rodney listened to John’s faltering breath before all senses turned white with one twist of John’s hips.
“Oh god,” he moaned and enthusiastically joined in. John’s fingers spasmed against Rodney’s hips once before moving them: one to grasp Rodney’s erection, the other to his clenched fist. It was the joined hands that was Rodney’s undoing. With a muffled shout he spilled into John’s hand. A few erratic thrusts later John came as well.
They laid there across the desk, John’s body a welcome weight. John finally picked himself up and Rodney flipped himself around, ready to voice his usual grumble when his breath caught all over again.
The sunlight streamed in the floor to ceiling windows, bringing out shades of red in John’s birdnest hair. It highlighted the high cheekbones, the planes of his chest framed by his undone tie, the single piece of clothing on John’s body. John’s lips were swollen and bruised, and he was staring at Rodney with his head cocked. It struck Rodney all over again that even though John is intense, his presence filling up more room than he actually does, he’s Rodney’s. And it made Rodney fall in love all over again.
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Two hours later Rodney reemerged from John’s office.
“Rodney, lad, are ye all right?” Rodney looked over at John’s secretary Carson. Being good friends with Carson, Rodney always thought the position was beneath the man, but the Scotsman loved his job as it allowed him his mother hen tendencies.
“I’m fine, Carson. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just concerned. I don’t know why he’s been ridin’ ye so hard lately, lad; you’re always about to fall right over when ye come outta there.” Rodney coughed a little sharply.
“No, no, it’s my job isn’t it? Have to, er, keep the ball rolling, as it were. Speaking of, I’ve got to go finish working on that treaty. Later, Carson.”
“Bye, Rodney.” Carson’s worried gaze followed him out the room.
***
One o’clock rolled around and it was no surprise to Rodney that he was still there. He rolled his shoulders, trying to get rid of some of the stiffness. Picking up his coffee mug he spit the mouthful back out when he found it to be stone cold. Disgusted, he rose from his chair. He walked out into the common room to find that only the emergency lights were on. Everyone else had gone home for the night. It was then he noticed that the light was shining through the crack of John’s door. Rodney’s pulse started to flutter. They had the place to themselves and he hadn’t seen John in almost seven hours. Placing down his coffee cup he briskly walked over to John’s door and opened it without knocking. The soft lamp light cast John’s features into shadows, making his skin look like porcelain. Rodney ignored Ronon, John’s bodyguard, who was lounging on the couch. Ronon had seen too much of the two together for Rodney to give a fig anymore.
Rodney was surprised to see that John was actually doing work and he hesitated. Far be it from him to interrupt when work was actually getting done. And then John looked up and the hesitation was erased.
“Hey, Rodney.”
“Hey. You got a minute? There’s something I want to show you.” John raised an eyebrow, that skeptical yet anticipatory look coming to his features.
“Anything for you, buddy.” Rodney gave a quick smirk as he felt the pleasant tingle run down his spine. He’d been looking forward to this for a while.
“Come on then.”
Rodney led John down the corridors of the White House, Ronon following a discrete distance. Finally they reached the press room where at any other time of day they’d be in front of the international press. Rodney felt his breath quicken just at the thought and turned to face John whose eyes had started to turn to liquid fire.
Eyes never leaving John’s face he said, “Ronon would you wait outside? Thank you.” With a smirk Ronon shut the door behind him.
Rodney slowly closed the space, John watching him the whole time, relaxed yet alert. Rodney leaned in and nipped at his lips, sucking on John’s pouty lower one, loving the quick catch of breath. John’s hands stayed by his side and Rodney loved the feel of power that rushed through him, knowing John was letting him lead. Rodney wrapped his arms around John’s neck. When John’s came to rest around his waist he led them back towards the podium, never letting up the kiss. Gently pushing John up against the podium he whispered, “Let me.”
Rodney nipped his way across John’s jaw over to his earlobe and earned a quiet gasp for his efforts. He slowly worked his way down, mouth following the path of his hands. When one nipple was exposed he latched on to it like it was his last hope and John gave a louder moan and slight buck. Rodney played with the nipple, teasing it to a point, rolling it around with his tongue, pulling it until it became a hard pebble in his mouth. Then he moved onto the other one. Moans were steadily streaming from John’s mouth now, and a “Rodney” escaped once or twice. Hands pushed on his head as Rodney slowly slid his way lower, mouthing over ribs, tongue plunging into John’s bellybutton in a parody of what was to come.
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With a quick swoop of long perfection, Rodney swallowed John down to the root. He grasps himself again at John’s hoarse scream. With the tongue that never stops, he applied every trick he’s ever learned; long sweeps, hard sucks, swirls, and nips. Looking up through his eyelashes Rodney let out a moan that in turned caused John to whine. John’s mouth was slack and his eyes hooded like they only ever do when Rodney’s sucking him. Rodney loved to take John apart, loved the illicit thrill that washed through him every time he does this, knowing that it’s him and only him that gets this reaction from John.
Part of the reason Rodney chose this room is because they hadn’t done it in here before. Rodney lifts his mouth of John’s cock who whimpers in protest.
“Just imagine,” Rodney puffed over John’s cock watching it twitch. “the room full of reporters. What do you think the pictures would look like, hmm? You bent over this podium, shirt rucked up,” Rodney swept his fingers up John’s stomach and sides, pushing him farther back. “Stomach pale in the harsh lights, your cock on my tongue.”
John let out another hoarse whimper, and Rodney heard his head thunk against the podium. With a smirk Rodney licked a path from balls to anus. John’s hips shot into the air from the force of John’s shout.
“Now, now,” Rodney tisked, own voice harsh with arousal. “Not quite yet.” With that he plunged his tongue into John’s anus, fingers spreading cheeks wide. A few thrusts later John was screaming his completion, sobs falling from his lips. Rodney licked his way back up to John’s mouth, his own desire taking hold. Frantically kissing John he rutted against his hip, frame shaking with suppressed tension. John shoved a semen coated finger into Rodney, and that was all it took. The two slumped to the floor, too exhausted to move.
“We ought to do this in here again,” John panted in his ear. Rodney let out a weak laugh.
“You’re on.”
***
The next day life went as it always did: meetings, quickies in closets or the nearest empty offices, yelling at John for noting getting work done, and more paperwork. Buried in a pile of paperwork, Rodney had been ignoring John’s summons for the last hour. At least, he had been until John and marched in and hauled him out of his chair.
Rodney started spluttering. “W-what in the hell do you think you’re doing?! I’m trying to get work done, you lazy fly-boy wannabe, work that you should be doing, not delegating onto me! Hey, hey! Are you even listening to me?!”
“Nope,” John said as he continued to pull Rodney into the Oval Office by his tie, and Rodney would never admit how much of a turn on that was. Rodney could see that Carson had risen out of his chair in shock, but Rodney was too focused on John to care, for he had that private little smirk on his face that was just for Rodney to see. The one that was a little wicked and sharp-toothed and always reminded him of that one time John took him against the wall, one hand wrapped over Rodney’s mouth to keep him from shouting and letting all the staff gathered in the room just next door from hearing. Rodney just let John pull with his own smirk flashing, keeping up the constant, fake, protests as the door shut behind them. He would enjoy this.
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