unamaga: (it's a horror show come around)
Title: Bump In The Night
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~5,000 words
Summary: “In every generation, there is a Chosen One. Sh – uh, he alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. He is the Slayer.”
Notes: The Buffy AU that refused to die! How ironic. There are a few scenes in here that draw directly from "Welcome To The Hellmouth" and "The Harvest", but the characterization sort of veers to fit the SGA crew and the plot follows along. Also, since this is most likely a one-off, I'm just going to ignore, you know, everything else that happens later on and declare Happily Ever After. Watch me rape canon, yay! Joss Whedon: I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me. I was on crack.

“This is totally not what I signed up for!” Rodney yelps, groping around on the grass to find his stake. “Why are you just sitting there, I am about to die! Don’t you have a soul at all, you complete maniac! Help! Help would be ni – aaahhgg!” )
unamaga: (and what's with all the carrots?)
This little fanmix is to go with the Buffy AU I'm hoping to have ready for Halloween that's apparently been sitting half-finished on the downstairs computer since August. Guess who's the slayer. Go on, guess. I'll give you a hint: he has the lung capacity of a marine mammal, big baby blues, and a name that rhymes with schmodney.

“This is totally not what I signed up for!” Rodney yelps, groping around on the grass to find his stake. His heart feels like it’s about to beat its way right up his esophagus and choke him to death, and his watcher doesn't even care. “Why are you just sitting there, I am about to die, don’t you have a soul at all, you complete maniac! Help! Help would be ni – aaahhgg!”

The newly risen vampire (vampires are real, what the hell) lunges at Rodney’s neck, and, oh god, he is never ever going to let a boy give him a hickey ever again. At the last second, he gets his stake in his fingers and thrusts it at the vampire’s chest, hoping that he’s aiming at the heart.

With a startled bwoosh, the vampire explodes into dust.

“Ew,” Rodney whimpers, flopping back onto the wet ground. “Oh my god, I can never wear this shirt again.”
Welcome To The Hellmouth )

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