this might be the place

unamaga: i would do jessica rabbit. srsly.
Villainny: hahahahahaha EVERYONE WOULD
Villainny: straight, gay, John Sheppard.
Villainny: EVERYONE.
unamaga: TRUFAX
unamaga: john sheppard wants to BE her, though
Villainny: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG
Villainny: THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD MANIP
Villainny: XD
unamaga: OH MY GOD
Villainny: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
unamaga: OH MY GOD WHY AM I OPENING UP PHOTOSHOP

Later...

unamaga: ARE YOU DEAD?
Villainny: I AM DEAD
unamaga: I WARNED YOU

( I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that gay. )

Title: How Do You Solve a Problem
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13 (or very light R)
Wordcount: ~800 words
Notes: Small cracklet written at amberlynne's behest. She is a giant BAMBOOZLER, don't get too close. Mood music: The Lonely Goatherd.

( “No,” Rodney says firmly. “A world of no. A universe of no. Did I mention the no part?” “Rodney,” John says, “you can’t say no. It’s either this or I throw you to the axe-wielding psycho nuns. What’s it gonna be?” )

Most people don't notice it, too busy with the outward projection of calm competence and heroism.

Rodney, on the other hand, has come to accept the fact that John Sheppard is completely insane. It's mostly easy to ignore by now. He's woken up with a foot jammed against his cheek, John snoring obliviously with his face pillowed on Rodney's leg; he's opened his eyes and found a Mr. Potato Head staring right back at him. On one memorable occasion, he'd stirred right as John was carefully setting a red bow from the night before's holiday celebration on his nose.

That's why it takes him so long to realize that there's a yellow post-it note stuck to his forehead when he stumbles out of bed and into the bathroom. He pees and sets out the bath rug so he doesn't slip and break his neck on the tiles that are wet from John's shower. He starts the coffee pot next to the sink.

"Oh," he says dumbly. After a minute of deciphering the backward mirror-image of the note, Rodney rolls his eyes. "God, you are so weird."

"You love me," John grins, hair slicked flat against his forehead, sticking up in the back in its uncanny way. He looks ridiculous, and Rodney's chest tightens just feeling the soft brush of those familiar water-warmed fingers down his side.

"That's debatable," he grumbles, but when John tugs him back by his hips, he goes eagerly.

Jules: TELL ME MEL
Jules: DO YOU WRITE POEMS?
Mel: ....i used to

An Ode to Beds in Three Movements
-July 6, 2006

 

Movement I

O, best beloved!

You shine in my mind

Like the brightest of stars—

Perhaps a red giant!

 

O, best beloved bed!

You are so squishy

Like the softest of roasted marshmallows—

Gooey on the inside and crunchy on the outside!

 

O, my bed, O, my bed!

How I wish to be with you

And feel your loving embrace!

 

Movement II

Sheets—

Four-hundred count Egyptian—

How I long.

 

Pillows—

Feather down and well used—

How I wish.

 

Mattress—

Firm yet with good yield—

How I pine.

 

Bed—

Horizontal and comfortable—

How I yearn.

 

Movement III

Even a lover’s embrace

Cannot compare to yours.

Even a cup of hot cocoa

Cannot replicate your warmth.

Oh my bed, you are my love.

 

In my absence, dearest,

Do not rid yourself of my

Body-shaped indent,

For soon I will be with you again.

I feel this is sufficiently apt considering I got two and a half hours of sleep last night. SO TELL ME, who else here secretly used to write poems? Don't be shy, we're all friends.

I don't know about you, but I think today sucks. Like, sucks on league with November 2, 2004 - it's that bad. So instead of doing anything productive or work-related, let's talk about John Sheppard in a kilt.



edit: nws talk in the comments! here by ladycat777 and here by me!

Kate, honey, I know I missed your birthday, but since I run perpetually late, this is ALMOST ON TIME. Right? Sort of? Anyway, it's here, it's a mix of sorts, and it will hopefully make you choke on laughter: Jensen and Jared do it to Disney Songs. Yeah, you heard me right.



( The full-sized cover and mix, with drabble bonus! Put yer perv goggles on! )

Title: Fangs and Feelers
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jensen/Jared - sort of.
Wordcount: 1,031 words
Warnings: Gay snake/snail porn. UM CRACK.
Notes: First of all, this is not my fault. I know I say that all the time, but this time it's completely true. I wasn't even involved in the conversation that spurned this. Read it here if you don't believe me. It was all immoralilly and schneestern, honest to God. But, see, then they had to go and show me the log and, well, it ate my brain. Along with Schnee's. She even made a banner. So, uh, this is an AU. This is an AU in which Jensen is a snail and Jared is a snake. They have sex. I...understand if you defriend me over this. Really, I do. Beta duties by Schnee in the early stages, final look-over by Robin. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT.


( The plane's bathroom isn't the most sanitary place for a clandestine meeting, but Jensen's a snail and Jared used to live under a car. Plus, there's a lock. Jensen may leave a trail of sludge behind him where ever he goes, but he's still polite. )

sofie got some junkmail in her inbox today from "dean". it told her that she could easily remedy her erectile disfunction by taking this certain pill - it only takes 15 minutes to start working, and you don't have to worry about any side affects! naturally, my mind went places.

keep your enemies close and your drinks closer
PG-13 | implied sam/dean | 450 words

( Sam forces himself to calm down enough to say, 'You ok there, big brother? Kind of worked up?' )

and then dean catches him and they have naughty sex for hours and hours on the forest floor because dean wants sam to know that he has stamina. "you want stamina, you little bitch? i'll show you stamina." happily ever after, the end. :D